DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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