So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
