i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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