Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
