just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
