i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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