Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You made out with two different species that night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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