You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
