kristin has been a bad kristin
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
