My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
