Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How does one acquire holy water?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
