So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hippo gnu deer
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
