eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
