Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
