And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
