the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
