Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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