this beer tastes like vomit already
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
