So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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