Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
