My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
