Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
