Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize