What a fucking waste of an outfit
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
