i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
