you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize