So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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