She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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