this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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