I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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