your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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