the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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