just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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