I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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