I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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