im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
