ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
