Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
