drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
