OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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