O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
