there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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