i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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