Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
