ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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