He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
