I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
