the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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