i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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