party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is Oprah even human
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize