Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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