you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You may now shotgun with the bride
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
