Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
