Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
