she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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