Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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