life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
