We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
