Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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